The Leadership Lesson Hiding in Your Kitchen

The Leadership Lesson Hiding in Your Kitchen

By Leadership Enigma podcast host Adam Pacifico

I have recorded a lot of episodes of The Leadership Enigma.

Nearly 300.

But this was a first.

There were cameras rolling, knives on the table, mangoes, cucumbers, lime juice flying across the studio and, for once, leadership theory came with a side order of extra virgin olive oil.

My guest was Adam Kingl, and the conversation was delicious in every sense.

Adam has spent years working with senior leaders around the world. He is thoughtful, researched, practical and, as it turns out, very handy with a mango. His latest work, Executive Eats, explores something we rarely talk about seriously enough in leadership circles:

What we eat, how we cook, and who we cook with might have more to do with leadership performance than we think.

That may sound a little soft.

It is not.

Leadership starts before the first meeting

Adam said something early in our conversation that has stayed with me:

If leaders are not looking after themselves, how can they possibly be better stewards of others?

Simple. Obvious. Often ignored.

For years, when Adam asked executives what was getting in the way of their performance, they gave intellectual answers.

“I need to improve my strategic thinking.”

“I need to get better at finance.”

“I need sharper critical thinking.”

But over the last few years, the answers have changed.

Now they are physical.

“I don’t have enough energy.”

“I can’t concentrate after lunch.”

“I’m snapping at my team.”

“I can’t regulate my mood.”

That is not a capability issue. That is a human operating system issue.

And every leader casts a shadow.

If you are tired, wired, distracted and short-tempered, your team feels it. If your energy is erratic, your decisions may be too. If your mood is unstable, psychological safety becomes a PowerPoint phrase rather than a lived reality.

This is why self-care is not indulgence.

It is leadership infrastructure.

The boardroom is not the only classroom

One of the most powerful ideas from the episode was that leadership lessons are not only found in boardrooms, strategy decks or offsites.

Sometimes they are found around the table.

Cooking together creates conversation. It slows people down. It gives people something to do with their hands while they talk. It takes hierarchy out of the room.

There is something beautifully human about preparing food with other people. You cannot hide behind your job title when you are trying not to cut yourself while chopping cucumber.

Adam talked about the importance of communal activity, belonging and the quiet rituals that help people feel connected. And let’s be honest, most organisations could do with a little more meaningful connection and a little less performative collaboration.

So here is a question for leaders:

When was the last time your team did something together that was not just another meeting with sandwiches?

The mango cucumber leadership lesson

The dish Adam made in the studio was a mango and cucumber salad.

Simple, colourful, quick and surprisingly strategic.

Mango brings magnesium, which Adam linked to concentration, energy and focus. Cucumber brings folate, also known as vitamin B9, which supports mood regulation. Olive oil brings healthy fats, which are good for the brain as well as the heart. Ginger adds anti-inflammatory benefits and flavour. Lime wakes the whole thing up.

But the bigger lesson was not the recipe.

It was the system.

Adam described the salad as a base. Make it once, then adapt it.

One day, add coriander, chilli and more cucumber and you are somewhere in Mexico.

Another day, add lemongrass, fish sauce, tofu and peanuts and you are in Southeast Asia.

Another day, add tomato and basil and you are heading towards Sicily.

That is a brilliant leadership metaphor.

Build strong foundations. Then adapt intelligently.

Too many leaders search for entirely new answers every day. Sometimes the smarter move is to create a solid base and flex around it.

Three practical moves for leaders

Here are three things you can apply this week.

1. Audit your energy, not just your diary

Look at your calendar and ask: where am I expecting high performance from a low-energy human?

A day of back-to-back meetings, poor food, no movement and no recovery is not a badge of honour. It is a design flaw.

2. Build better anchors

Adam talked about creating “anchors” in your diet. Foods and habits that help sustain you rather than spike and crash you.

This does not mean becoming a wellness influencer overnight. Please don’t.

It might mean more protein at lunch. More fibre. More water. More real food. Fewer “I’ll just grab something later” moments that become a leadership liability by 3pm.

3. Create human rituals

Cooking may not be your thing. Fair enough.

But the principle matters.

What rituals bring your team together as humans, not just colleagues?

A walk. A shared breakfast. A proper check-in. A team lunch where nobody is performing. A moment where people can talk without pretending everything is fine.

Culture is not built only in big announcements.

It is built in repeated, human moments.

A final thought

Leadership is often presented as something grand.

Vision. Strategy. Transformation. Influence.

And yes, all of that matters.

But perhaps leadership is also much more ordinary.

It is sleep. Food. Mood. Energy. Attention. Patience. Connection.

It is whether you have enough fuel in the tank to be generous when someone asks a difficult question.

It is whether you can regulate yourself before trying to regulate the room.

It is whether you can create spaces where people feel they belong.

And sometimes, it is learning how to cut a mango without losing a finger.

That may not sound like leadership theory.

But it might just be leadership reality.

If you’re looking for a keynote that brings human centred leadership and practical realities to life (without the jargon), here’s the link: https://www.leadersenigma.com/keynotes/

Adam Pacifico is the host of the globally ranked, award winning podcast The Leadership Enigma, author and Partner at Heidrick & Struggles.

Adam Kingl is Author, Keynote Speaker, Educator, Adviser